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tips4me.com - personal etiquette | PERSONAL ETIQUETTE | |  | | Staring At A Person When Speaking With Him | 
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It is not for nothing that the eyes are called the windows to a person’s soul. Eye contact creates a strong connection between two people and also creates an impression of sincerity and trustworthiness.
• Look at a person when being introduced to him/her, maintain the eye contact even while speaking. Eye contact with another person shows your interest in him/her. It also forces you to pay attention to what s/he is saying.
• Make soft eye contact, i.e. look into the other person’s eyes, and then shift your gaze to other parts of the person’s face occasionally.
• While speaking with a group of people, look at one person for a few seconds and then shift your gaze to another.
• Making eye contact does not mean that you try and stare a person down with an intense pupil-to-pupil gaze. Staring at a person is the quickest way of making him uncomfortable and so, putting him on the defensive.
| | Is Shaking Hands An Accepted Norm? |
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A handshake is a universally accepted way of greeting people, as also a universal source of worry! While everybody has their own theory about the correct way to shake hands, the general rule is to keep the handshake firm, brief and as far as possible, dry.
• On being introduced, offer your right hand. Smile and make eye contact. Offer a greeting.
• Keep the handshake firm and brief. This is not a show of strength, so don’t try and cripple the other person. At the same time don’t let the handshake be a half-handed, limp, wet fish sort of grip.
• Do not attempt to hold hands till introduction is over. A good handshake lasts for about 3 to 4 seconds.
If you offer a handshake and it is refused, just withdraw your hand. Under most circumstances you have followed protocol while the other person has been ungracious in refusing to respond.
| | Are Your Listening Skills Up To The Mark? |
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How often have you found yourself talking to somebody who was not interested in listening to you or was more interested in getting his point across? How do you avoid falling into the same trap?
• First of all, listen actively. Maintain eye contact with the speaker. Remind yourself that you have something to gain from this.
• Participate enthusiastically! Ask questions, and pay attention to the answers. Clarify doubts, but don't overwhelm the speaker with the force of your voice and opinion.
• Wait for the other person to finish speaking. Avoid interrupting unnecessarily, and don't consider every conversation as a forum for airing your views!
If the speaker is rambling, and cutting into time you cannot possibly spare, make your excuses politely. After all, you just might be in his shoes tomorrow!
| | Maintaining An Arm's Length |
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Have you ever had someone stand so close to you that you could feel their breath on your face? And did you move back, only to find the other person move in closer? That was an invasion of your personal space!
• Personal space is the area around the physical self that a person considers his. Moving in too close or standing too far away can create discomfort. Be alert for signs that a person is uncomfortable with how close you are standing to him/her.
• In urban India and in most Western countries, an arm's length, or about 3 feet is an accepted norm.
• In some European countries like Italy and Spain and in most South American countries, people tend to stand much closer. In most Arab countries too personal space is less than the accepted Western norm. In Japan however, people prefer to stand further away.
Personal space is not only a 'personal' but often a cultural issue too. Respect it!
| | Royal Manners That Matter |
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"Punctuality Is The Politeness Of Kings,’’
-- Louis XVIII
There’s no excuse for lateness, not in a social situation, and definitely not in a business environment. Nobody likes to be kept waiting, and it reflects very badly not only on your organization, but also on you, personally, if you make a habit of being late.
• Apologize first, and then take the appropriate action. You have made someone wait, and you might have caused a colleague to take on your work in addition to his own.
• When you are delayed, try, as soon as is possible, to inform the person expecting you that you cannot make your appointment on time. Tell them how long you are going to be delayed, and if they cannot wait, reschedule your appointment.
• When giving an excuse for being late, make sure that it is plausible, and as far as possible, truthful. However, there’s no need to go into the fascinating details of how, and why, you were delayed.
• Be on time or just a few minutes early. That you happened to be free, or in the neighbourhood, is no reason to drop in on someone way ahead of schedule. Most people work on tight schedules and cannot be expected to drop everything and entertain you.
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